Heather & Thor’s Weblog

Thor had an ah-ha moment earlier this Friday morning at the YMCA, of all places. You should have seen it. Everyone thought it was funny. But not Thor. He looked a bit… well, he looked a bit surprised.

In fact, his ah-ha moment wasn’t as much a light bulb coming on to realize that what he sought was right in front of him. That happens quite a lot, but this wasn’t one of those. This was more a ‘Holy Christ!’ moment, or maybe even a ‘Oh shit!’ or like being awoken in the middle of a really good dream. Let me explain…

So this morning, Friday morning, Thor heads off to the local Y to grab a swim with his buddy John. Did I tell you that this is the same buddy who will officiate his wedding? It is.

So Thor goes to the Y to meet up with John. Upon arriving, Thor swipes his card and heads immediately to the reception area. “Hi,” he says to the friendly lady sitting behind the desk, “I’d like to change my membership from Single Adult to Family so that my fiance can start working out here.”

The lady pushes aside some papers, then a few more, and finally extracts a single form. “We just have to fill this out,” the lady said. “What’s your fiance’s name?”

Heather Sinopoli.

“Same address as yours?”

Yup.

Miss YMCA paused a long moment then scratched head a few times as if it helped the thoughts settle in her head. Finally she spoke again. “When are you getting married?”

Thor pushed a little closer and said, “In a few months.” Thor said it as if there was plenty of time.

Miss Y wasn’t satisfied with the answer. “Like when — in the summer?”

“No,” Thor said, “in April… April 5th to be precise.”

“April 5th,” Miss Y reflected back, “that’s soon…” Before Thor could tell her she was wrong – ”no, it’s not so soon,” he wanted to shout — she got to further business. “In that case, I’ll just put her in the computer as Heather Kirleis.”

Thor’s mind went blank. He wore an expression of deer in headlights, or maybe one of a deer run over by headlights.

Miss Y seemed to pick up the whirl of emotions. If her confused expression could speak it might say, “Was it my mention of the wedding being so soon in April… or was it when I said Heather Kirleis.”

Thor spoke not a word further, signed a few dotted lines, and then dissappeared into the locker room. Rumor has it that he swam much faster than he usually does.

This past Saturday (January 19), Thor had the great idea of going to the jeweler to look at wedding bands. Both Heather and Thor have been very busy, and they know their free time on weekends is at a premium. So when Thor saw a half a free evening, he said to Heather, “We should go to the jewelry store.” Heather didn’t have to be talked into it; sparkly wedding bands flashed in her eyes, so off they went to the jewelry store to look at all things sparkly.

It should be noted that Heather, thanks to such a wonderful fiancee, is addicted to diamonds. Ever since Thor slipped a rock on her finger back in Madison, Wisconsin for their dance with engagement, Heather has been consumed by all things sparkles. Then Thor drove the passion deeper by getting her diamond earrings for Christmas. Sometimes Thor is a slow learner.

Hand in hand, Heather and Thor skipped with joy into the jewelry store as each sales person’s eyes trained on their every move. From out of no where, King Harry, Thor’s personal sales slave from previous purchases, came waltzing over, eager to sell-sell-sell and sell some more.

Heather looked at a bunch of wedding bands for her as Thor all of a sudden got all quiet, as if he was pondering just what Eternity meant. “It’s an eternity band,” Heather and Harry were saying. As if that were a good thing. Thor wiped sweat from his brow and tried to look engaged. After what seemed four days and thirty three hours… okay, maybe 4 days and a few hours… Heather decided that she was undecided. She needed more time to think. Meanwhile, Harry extracted yet another sparkly band from the showcase. No, really… Heather was undecided. Thor got excited at the prospect that they could now leave.

But wait! Heather wanted Thor to try on wedding bands. Thor rolled his eyes but otherwise served as a noble pin cushion, as King Harry and Heather jabbed rings on any available digit. The King seemed pleased with a certain selection. “I really like this one,” Harry blobbered. Thor pretended to look in the showcase as if the atrocious looking ring Harry held up so proudly didn’t exist.

Heather seemed to like all the rings while Thor started yawning again. He hunched over the showcase and peered in. Over the next several minutes, the showcase started supporting more and more of his weight. A few more yawns and soon Thor would be snoozing asleep. Until Heather ribbed him. That’s when Thor mumbled he wanted something differet. “Plain bands are ugly,” he said. “In fact, I think they’re all ugly. I don’t want a ring.” Heather insisted: “You’re getting a ring.”

Thor looked defeated. ”Seriously,” he started saying as if nobody would listen, “I think all wedding bands are ugly. Especially the tradional ones. They look stupid.” Just then a sales person standing next to King Harry started playing with is rather plain looking band. He made eye contact with Thor a few times but otherwise tried not to give an evil eye.

That’s when Heather spoke up. “Like that ring,” she said as she pointed at the ring worn by King Harry’s counter part. “You think that’s ugly?” Thor bit his tongue to bid time. As soon as the salesman with the ugly ring looked the other way, Thor shook his head with a resounding up and down swoop. Yup! It’s butt ugly, his expression yeilded. Heather and Harry looked at each other. Harry shrugged as Heather seemed to say, ‘Now tell us how you really feel.’

A half hour later Heather and Thor walked out of the jewelry store with a wedding band for Thor — Heather was still undecided on hers. The wedding band was the one King Harry kept thrusting in Thor’s face as, “I really like this one.” Granted, the ring was one of the twenty three Thor declared as “I guess that one’s okay.” But still, Thor thinks the ring looks like it has tire prints on it.

Although Heather and Thor have had the ring for a few weeks now, Thor refuses to look at it. Heather thinks Thor’s in denial. Heck, even the damn cat thinks Thor’s in denial.

Heather has been great. She tells Thor every chance how nice a ring it is he selected. “It’s so pretty,” she says. Thor wiggles and moans. Yeah, he says, “Pretty-schmitty… like I want a pretty ring.” Then he flexes his muscle as if to show off to his guy pals and says, “Look guys, I got me a pretty ring… I bet mine is prettier than yours.”

Thor is still undecided on his pretty ring. He’s contemplating another one — one with a Celtic weave. It’s a bit more masculine. In the meantime, he’s free to brag about his pretty ring to his friends. But he doesn’t.